The Hilary Silver Podcast

Welcome to The Hilary Silver Podcast. Hilary started this podcast to invite listeners into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you more successful in love and life by turning your focus towards the only person who really matters in your life: YOU. (Yeah, she said it). This isn’t a self-care podcast – it’s a self-centered one. Why? Because, despite what your mom told you, you really are the center of the universe. Sound cringey? Scary? Selfish? Good. It’s discomfort that is going to empower listeners to take radical responsibility for the only person they can change (hint: it’s the person staring back at them in the mirror). The conversations on The Hilary Silver Podcast are designed to challenge long held beliefs about life, relationships and ourselves. Forget what you think you know about narcissism, relationships, therapy, anxiety, “successful” women & dating, wellness & aging, and a whole host of other topics that have all been talked to death… but never like this. Hilary is the psychotherapist turned paradigm-shifting, script-flipping disrupter listeners didn’t know they needed in their lives… until now. She’s part woo, part neuroscience, and 100% no bullshit. And she’s here to help you become self-centered so you can become self-assured, self-made, self-loved, self-aware, self-reliant, self-sufficient, self-motivated, and some more! New episodes drop every Friday. Please follow and leave a 5-star review (unless you didn’t enjoy it and then you can listen to your mom: if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all).

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Episodes

Friday Sep 27, 2024

Episode 23: This Virtue May Make You RICH
 
What if impatience wasn’t a flaw but your secret success weapon? Hilary Silver flips the script on the idea that patience is always a virtue. She shows how tapping into her impatience fueled her transition from local therapist to global coaching powerhouse. In this episode, Hilary reveals how urgency, action, and a fearless attitude have been the keys to her unstoppable success.
 
Episode Highlights:
Hilary doesn’t just embrace impatience—she owns it. Learn how her desire for fast results has helped her cut through the noise, skip the unnecessary waiting, and get straight to the good stuff in both life and business.
Forget endless prep. Hilary’s strategy is all about diving in and figuring things out along the way. Think paying to skip traffic, but for your entire career. She shares how this bold approach keeps her momentum strong and minimizes time spent feeling stuck.
Urgency is about moving past fear. Hilary talks about how her impatience has led to invaluable lessons, from real-world experience to building rock-solid self-trust.
It’s not all smooth sailing. Hilary warns against jumping too fast, explaining the fine line between acting on impatience and letting things unfold naturally.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Embracing Impatience: The Unexpected Game-Changer
[01:00] Why Goals Love a Little Urgency
[02:05] Fast Action, Big Results: Hilary’s Go-To Mindset
[04:01] Fear Who? How Impatience Conquers Doubt
[05:05] Progress Over Perfection: Learn as You Go
[07:13] How Impatience Builds Self-Trust
[09:30] The Dark Side: When Impatience Backfires 
 
Listener Takeaways:
Time to throw out what you’ve been told. Hilary shows how to reframe impatience as the fuel you need to make bold moves and avoid overthinking.
Why waiting around isn’t your best strategy and how embracing urgency can propel you to your goals quicker than playing it safe.
Learn how taking action builds confidence, grows your skills, and helps you trust your own decisions in real time.
 
If you’re tired of feeling stuck or spinning your wheels, this episode is for you. Hilary Silver proves that impatience can be your biggest asset—and she’s sharing exactly how to use it to crush your goals!
 
Want more incredible resources from Hilary? Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ 

Friday Sep 20, 2024

Episode 22: The Sneaky Ways We Self Sabotage
 
Ambivalence might seem harmless, but it’s that sneaky little voice that keeps you stuck, second-guessing, and ultimately self-sabotaging your goals. In this episode, Hilary pulls no punches, diving into how those “meh” feelings are secretly holding you back from what you really want. She shares personal stories, client confessions, and straight-up truths about why we keep driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.
 
Episode Highlights:
Ever feel like you want something, but not quite enough to actually go after it? Hilary breaks down the sneaky ways this inner conflict pops up—from dragging your feet on that dream job to half-heartedly pursuing a relationship—and how it leads to low-key self-sabotage.
Hilary keeps it real with a story from her high school days. She auditioned for the dance team, knowing deep down she didn’t actually care about making it. Sound familiar? This story drives home how we sometimes aim for things we don’t even want—just to say we tried.
Hilary calls out the real culprits: society’s pressures, fear of both failing and succeeding, and dodging responsibility. When we only give a half-effort, we get to blame everything but ourselves for not hitting our goals. 
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Self-Sabotage: How it Sneaks Up
[03:10] Real Talk: Client Example
[03:41] #1 External Expectations
[04:24] #2 Fear of Everything
[06:31] #3 Dodging Responsibility
[07:24] The Costs of Playing Small
[08:17] Living Intentionally
[08:49] Dealing with Fears Head-On
 
Listener Takeaways:
Time to ask yourself: are you living for you, or for what others expect? Get real, and get clear on what you actually want.
Whether you’re terrified of crashing and burning or secretly scared of being too successful, face those fears head-on. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the shadows.
Ambivalence keeps you in a constant stall-out. Hilary’s advice? Commit fully and own your choices, so you can finally move forward.
 
This episode is your wake-up call to ditch the inner tug-of-war and start showing up with intention and clarity. Ready to stop holding yourself back? Tune in and get the tools you need to start living with purpose.
 
Want more incredible resources from Hilary? Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/

Friday Sep 13, 2024

EP21 - 9 Habits to Look 10 Years Younger 
 
It’s more than genetics—looking and feeling youthful is largely about the choices you make every day. As Hilary celebrates her 52nd birthday, she’s spilling her best-kept secrets to staying energized and radiant.
 
Episode Highlights:
Mindset Magic: Hilary’s dishing out four game-changing mindset habits that help her stay youthful—like focusing on solutions (not problems) and living a self-centered life that puts her needs first. 
Daily Rituals for Radiance: From her 85-15 lifestyle rule to early morning journaling and workouts, Hilary’s got her daily habits on lock. Oh, and she’s not eating after 7 PM—because staying organized and fit requires discipline (and no midnight snacks).
What She *Doesn’t* Do: No alcohol, no fast food, no sugar, no dairy, no sun damage. Hilary’s list of “no’s” might sound tough, but these choices are the reason she’s looking absolutely fabulous at 52. 
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] What’s Age Got to Do With It?  
[02:18] Youthful Mindset Habits: Positivity First, Always  
[08:06] Action-Packed Mornings: Wake Up & Work It  
[14:14] Don’t Just Dream It—Do It: Achieving Those Goals  
 
Listener Takeaways:
Want to look younger? Start by changing your attitude—positivity and prioritizing YOU are the ultimate glow-up secrets.
Hilary’s morning routine is her not-so-secret sauce—journaling, visualizations, and workouts. (And maybe a little self-love in there, too.)
Avoid the aging traps: sugar, alcohol, and too much sun. If you’re ready to live it up at any age, it’s time to cut these out.
 
Ready to stop blaming genetics and start embracing habits that actually work? Hit play to learn Hilary’s real-life, no-nonsense tips for staying vibrant at every age. Want a little more? Grab her 5-minute pre-meal ritual at https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ and keep leveling up! 

Friday Sep 06, 2024

EP20 - You’re Not Broken, Stop Fixing Yourself
 
The key to true personal growth isn’t fixing your flaws, but embracing them as part of your wholeness. Hilary dives into this idea, challenging the widespread obsession with constant self-improvement. Do we really need to fix every perceived flaw, or is there a better path? In this episode, she advocates for a radical shift—moving away from the relentless pursuit of perfection and embracing unconditional self-love and acceptance.
 
Episode Highlights:
Hilary explores the exhausting cycle of self-improvement, where individuals continuously question “What is wrong with me?” and seek ways to fix themselves.
Hear the powerful story of a client who found freedom by letting go of the need for self-fixing, allowing herself to enjoy life without the burden of constant self-criticism.
Delve into the concept of shame and how it can prevent true self-expression and authentic connections with others.
Hilary emphasizes embracing both the light and dark parts of oneself as essential to forming a complete and authentic identity.
Discover how viewing imperfections as opportunities for growth, rather than flaws to be fixed, leads to a more fulfilling journey towards wholeness.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] The Concept of Constantly Working on Oneself and Seeking Self-Improvement
[02:06] Client Story
[03:09] Desire for Acceptance
[06:28] The Light and Dark Parts of Ourselves
[07:10] Truths to Accept
[14:40] Integration and Self-Love 
 
Listener Takeaways:
Learn why self-acceptance and unconditional love are the foundations for true personal growth and fulfillment.
Understand the importance of stepping away from the never-ending quest for self-improvement to embrace who you are, as you are.
Find out how embracing all aspects of yourself, including perceived imperfections, can lead to deeper, more genuine connections with others.
Shift your mindset from fixing flaws to integrating and accepting every part of yourself, paving the way for personal fulfillment and achieving your true purpose.
 
Helpful links:
Loneliness - The Other “L” Word Nobody Wants To Talk About:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hilary-silver-podcast/id1739660144?i=1000657906255
If you’ve ever felt trapped in the endless cycle of trying to “fix” yourself, Hilary’s insights will be a breath of fresh air. Tune in to start your journey toward true wholeness and fulfillment. 
 

Wednesday Aug 28, 2024

EP19 - Seeing Good is Bad
 
Is seeing only the good in others truly noble and a characteristic to aspire to? Hilary debunks the myth that focusing solely on the positive aspects of people is virtuous. In fact, she suggests that this one-sided, limited viewpoint is not only not good for you, but it’s actually a harmful set-up for everyone involved.
 
Episode Highlights:
Hilary explains how idealizing others by only seeing their good traits is a distorted view of reality.
Explore how this behavior manifests in various relationships, from parents ignoring their child’s struggles to overlooking red flags in romantic relationships.
Delve into the risks of ignoring the full picture, including emotional, mental, and even physical harm. True loving and appreciation comes from seeing and accepting a person’s whole self, flaws and all.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Challenging Conventional Wisdom About Seeing the Good in People
[01:03] The Problem with Seeing the Good and Examples
[03:09] Self-Interest in Seeing the Good
[05:15] Consequences of Ignoring Reality
[06:08] True Acceptance
[08:13] Personal Story 
 
Listener Takeaways:
Learn the importance of seeing and accepting people for who they truly are, rather than an idealized version.
Understand how setting realistic expectations in relationships can prevent significant letdowns and heartache.
Discover how embracing the entirety of a person, including their imperfections, leads to more authentic and meaningful relationships.
 
Hilary offers new insights into how we connect with others. If you’re looking to build deeper, more authentic relationships, this episode is a must-listen. Learn why embracing the full reality—not just the good—might be the key to avoiding denial and enjoying more honest and fulfilling relationships in your life.
 
Want more incredible resources from Hilary?  Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/

Wednesday Aug 21, 2024

EP18 - This Radical Gratitude Practice Will Change The Results In Your Life
 
Why isn’t gratitude bringing the happiness we expect? In this episode, Hilary shares a deeper, more radical approach to gratitude that will revolutionize how you view your past, especially the tough parts.  Incorporating Hilary’s method into your daily practice leads to a stronger relationship with your whole self, and creates resilience, confidence and a self-centered quality that creates beautiful results in your life.
 
Episode Highlights:
A fresh perspective on gratitude that goes beyond appreciating the obvious positives.
The importance of being grateful for negative experiences, including traumas, pain, and disappointments.
Powerful examples that illustrate this radical approach to gratitude
 
Episode Breakdown:
00:00:00 - 00:01:16 Importance of Gratitude00:01:17 - 00:02:19 Traditional vs. Revolutionary Gratitude00:02:20 - 00:05:24 Embracing Negative Experiences00:05:25 - 00:07:34 Personal Stories and Examples
 
Listener Takeaways:
Learn why it’s essential to be grateful for every experience, good or bad, and how this mindset can lead to extraordinary personal growth.
Discover how embracing gratitude for challenges makes you resilient and capable of seeing the lessons in every situation.
Understand how to view past traumas as integral parts of your personal development and turn them into sources of strength.
Gain actionable steps on how to actively express gratitude for difficulties, transforming them into opportunities for growth.
 
What’s the easiest way to start this new practice? Hilary’s journaling method! It’s the ultimate toolkit to help you know yourself, love yourself, and accept yourself. Never worry about what to write, never worry about the next best step.  Hilary guides you with visualizations, prompts and audio lessons. In 90 days, you’ll see the results of your new gratitude approach! Check out the digital journal here: https://hilarysilver.com/journal/
 
Want more incredible resources from Hilary?  Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/

Wednesday Aug 14, 2024

In this episode, Hilary explores a pivotal realization she experienced shortly after she turned 50: the unnecessary burdens we all carry by tolerating less than we deserve. This episode is a candid exploration of personal thresholds, examining everything from daily inconveniences to significant life choices, and how moving past “what we put up with” can transform our lives as we commit to putting SELF first.
Episode Highlights:
Hilary's personal journey of eliminating “just putting up with sh*t” as she approached her fifties.
Practical advice on identifying and addressing small to significant instances of tolerating in one's life.
Insightful discussions on how tolerating less can significantly enhance personal and professional wellbeing.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:02] - Introduction to the theme of tolerating and its impact on life.
[00:31:31] - Hilary shares her personal experience of un-tolerating to improve her life.
[01:00:00] - Discussion on everyday tolerances and how they accumulate to impact mood and self-esteem.
[01:31:00] - Strategies for confronting and overcoming significant tolerances in relationships and careers.
Listener Takeaways:
Awareness and Action: Learn to recognize the small discomforts and larger issues you've been tolerating and how to actively address them.
Empowerment through Change: Understand the profound impact that reducing this type of behavior can have on your mental health and personal growth.
Practical Steps to Transformation: Gain insights into actionable steps to reduce tolerating in various aspects of your life, from personal belongings to professional ambitions.
Inspiration for Personal Development: Hilary's story serves as a motivation to embrace change and stop settling for less than you deserve.
Catch this transformative episode to understand why tolerating less can mean living more fully, and how you can start making those changes today. If you're tired of just "putting up" with things, this episode will offer you the tools and courage to demand more from life and yourself.
 
Resources
Click Here to download the Toleration Tracker: https://hilarysilver.com/tolerate/
Here's the link to the episode I mention on How I Changed My Brain in 90 Days: https://youtu.be/bwT6gBswlNY?si=q3J98mjMuA-iLPB-
 

This Brain Hack Made Me Millions

Wednesday Aug 07, 2024

Wednesday Aug 07, 2024

Episode 16: This Brain Hack Made Me Millions 
Introduction:
In the newest episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast, Hilary recounts her own profound journey of reshaping her thinking patterns in just 90 days, including a discussion of the very neuroscience technique that made her a millionaire. She shares her personal story along with practical, science-backed strategies that have not only helped her become more successful than her wildest dreams, but have also helped thousands of her clients. If you've ever wanted to shift from being stuck to a truly empowering and life-altering mindset, this episode will guide you through the steps necessary to make that change.
Episode Highlights:
Hilary's personal experience with changing her brain and thought processes.
An explanation of how automatic thoughts and deep-seated beliefs form.
Detailed strategies for altering your neural pathways to foster positive thinking.
The significant role of repetition and consistency in reshaping one's mindset.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:02] - Hilary introduces the topic of changing one’s brain and mindset.
[00:00:31] - Explanation of what doesn’t work when trying to shift your mindset, like simple affirmations.
[00:02:00] - Discussion on the default ways of thinking and how they are formed in our brains.
[00:10:00] - Insights into the neuroscience behind thought patterns and how to change them.
[00:15:00] - Hilary shares her personal story of struggling to shift her professional life and how changing her thought process was a turning point.
Listener Takeaways:
Understanding Neural Plasticity - Learn how your brain forms thoughts and how these can be intentionally altered through specific practices.
Practical Mindset Shifts - Hilary provides actionable advice on how to start thinking differently today to influence your overall happiness and success.
Long-Term Impact - Discover how consistent practice can lead to lasting changes in your thought patterns, affecting all areas of your life.
Empowerment Through Self-Awareness - This episode encourages listeners to take charge of their mental landscapes to craft a more positive and fulfilling life experience.
Tune into this enlightening episode to start your journey towards a healthier, happier mind and a more successful life! If you've ever felt stuck in negative thought cycles, Hilary's insights and techniques offer a roadmap to mental clarity, emotional resilience, and success on your own terms.

Wednesday Jul 31, 2024

Episode #15: Take Back Your Power & Stop Caring What Others Think
Introduction
In this episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast, Hilary addresses a common struggle many of us face: the concern about others' opinions. If you've ever felt burdened by worrying about what others think of you and wish you could just stop caring, this episode is for you! Hilary offers a thoughtful exploration of why this concern is not only unnecessary but also harmful, and provides actionable advice on how to liberate yourself from this mental trap.
Episode Highlights
Understanding the psychology behind caring too much about others' opinions.
The damaging effects of basing your self-worth on external validation.
Practical strategies for gaining freedom from the need for approval.
Hilary’s personal insights on maintaining authenticity in a world that pressures conformity.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01 - 00:02:00] Introduction to the topic and its relevance.
[00:02:00 - 00:10:00] Deep dive into the psychology of why we care about others' opinions and the negative impacts of this concern.
[00:10:00 - 00:20:00] Hilary shares powerful, real talk truths and strategies for overcoming the need for external validation, promoting a journey towards self-acceptance and genuine self-worth.
[00:20:00 - 00:30:00] Concluding thoughts and call to action for listeners to start applying these insights in their daily lives.
Listener Takeaways
Awareness is Key: Recognize when and where you are most affected by others' opinions and start to question why.
Authenticity Over Approval: Embrace your true self and let go of the need for external validation.
Mind Your Own Business: Focus on your own thoughts and feelings rather than trying to control or predict others'.
Reject Rejection: Understand that not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly okay. Embrace those who appreciate the real you.
Live Freely: Apply the strategies discussed to actively stop caring about others' opinions and start enjoying a more authentic, anxiety-free life.
This episode encourages listeners to shift their focus from external approval to internal self-acceptance, fostering a healthier, happier life.

Wednesday Jul 24, 2024

Episode 14: How to Be More Confident Than 99% of The Population
Introduction
In this episode, Hilary dives into what true confidence means and how you can achieve it to stand out among the rest. She challenges common misconceptions about confidence, discusses two distinct types of confidence, and shares a powerful seven-word mantra that can transform your approach to challenges in life.
Episode Highlights
Exploring two types of confidence: situational and true confidence.
Introduction of a seven-word mantra to boost true confidence.
Personal stories from Hilary's life illustrating her journey towards genuine self-assurance.
Episode Breakdown (with timestamps)
[00:00] Introduction to the myths of confidence.
[00:07] Distinguishing between situational confidence and true confidence.
[00:13] The power of the mantra: "I will be okay no matter what."
[00:48] How to apply this mantra in real-life situations.
[00:56] Listener Q&A segment: Addressing common questions and concerns about maintaining confidence.
Listener Takeaways
True confidence stems from an internal belief system, not just external achievements or validations.
The mantra "I will be okay no matter what" is crucial for developing resilience and a positive self-view.
Practicing this mindset can lead to significant improvements in how you face challenges and perceive opportunities.
By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clearer understanding of how to cultivate a mindset that not only fosters confidence but also prepares you to handle whatever life throws your way with grace and assurance.

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