The Hilary Silver Podcast

Don't Give Up When You Mess Up

Setting big goals is easy. Staying on track when life inevitably throws you a curveball? That’s the real challenge. In this episode, Hillary Silver shares seven game-changing tools to help you stay committed to your goals—even when you mess up (because you will, and that’s okay). Forget perfectionism; it’s about showing up for yourself, learning from setbacks, and making progress every day.
Hillary dives into the practical and mindset shifts needed to turn your resolutions into realities, without the self-sabotage or endless restarts. From getting crystal clear on your goals to forgiving yourself when things go sideways, this episode is packed with no-BS advice to keep you moving forward—even if you fall off the wagon a time or two.
 
Episode Highlights:
Get Clear AF on your goals—it's non-negotiable.
Break it down into bite-sized objectives and baby steps.
Celebrate mess-ups—they’re not failures, they’re feedback!
Reframe Success: Focus on effort and self-pride over external results.
Step into the identity of the future you who’s already achieved it.
Check Yourself! Are these goals really yours, or someone else’s expectations?
Forgive the mess-ups, recommit, and love yourself through it all.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Overcoming Goal Setbacks
[01:44] The Reality of Messing Up
[02:05] Tool 1: Clarify Your Big Goal
[03:18] Tool 2: Differentiate Goals and Objectives
[05:00] Tool 3: Celebrate Daily Progress
[07:00] Tool 4: Accept Imperfections and Mess-Ups
[08:24] Tool 5: Celebrate the Mess-Ups
[10:09] Tool 6: Talk to Yourself as Your Future Self
[12:27] Tool 7: Check Your True Motivation
[15:14] Tool 8: Forgive Yourself and Reconnect to Your Why
[16:27] Stay Committed to Your Goals
 
If you're tired of restarting the same goals and ready to finally show up for yourself with love and clarity, Hillary's got you covered. Check out her free mini training, This Changes Everything, and her programs designed to help you crush your goals with confidence. Grab them (and free resources!) at hilarysilver.com/guides. Let’s make this your year! 🌟

How Letting Go Is the Ultimate Power Move

Control freaks, brace yourselves! In the final episode of her five-part series, Hilary serves up a truth bomb with the fifth core concept of her self-centered model: The outcome is internal. Translation? Stop obsessing over things you can’t control and start owning what’s already yours—your inner power.
 
Hilary breaks down why we tie our worth to things we can’t control—whether it’s nailing the job interview, getting the client deal, or making someone like us. Really, It’s a losing game. She shares how letting go of external outcomes doesn’t just free you from stress and anxiety—it gives you the ultimate power to thrive, no matter what.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why control is an illusion (and why your frantic grasping isn’t working).
How to measure success by how YOU show up, not how others respond.
The paradox of letting go: Stop chasing, start attracting.
Why the real win is inside you—and how to claim it.
Hilary’s soap analogy: Let go, or watch it slip through your fingers.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Seeking Certainty
[02:33] Anxiety and the Need for Certainty
[03:57] The Illusion of Control
[06:04] Claim YOUR Personal Power
[08:01] Releasing the Need for External Validation
[12:05] The Ultimate Paradox
 
Ready to make this mindset shift for real? Check out Hillary’s free mini video training, This Changes Everything, at https://hilarysilver.com/guides/. Stop chasing. Start thriving. It’s time to lean back and live big.

Stop Letting Your Past Define You

Your past doesn’t define you—unless you let it. In this episode, Hilary Silver serves up a reality check with core concept number four of her self-centered model: identity is a choice. That’s right—who you are isn’t carved in stone, no matter what your childhood, parents, or society told you.
 
For too long, you’ve been letting outdated beliefs and hand-me-down narratives dictate your life. It’s time to rip up that old script and write a new one where YOU call the shots. Whether you’re 40, 50, or 60, it’s never too late to hop off the train of old beliefs and step into a new self-concept. And she’s living proof, sharing how she went from therapist to boss, business owner and beyond by redefining who she was—and who she wanted to be.
 
If you’re ready to get off that tired train of self-doubt and step into the CEO role of your life, this episode is for you. And trust us, it’s about to get personal, empowering, and a little uncomfortable—in the best way possible.
 
Episode Highlights:
Your identity isn’t fixed—why it’s time to stop believing your own BS.
How subconscious programming keeps you playing small (and how to smash it).
The four truths about identity that will change how you see yourself forever.
Hilary’s mic-drop moments: from small-town therapist to global powerhouse.
A challenge to rewrite your identity starting TODAY.
 
Episode Breakdown: 
[00:00]  Introduction to Identity Formation
[01:03]  Subconscious Programming
[01:34]  Core Concept #4: Identity is a Choice
[03:01]  Focus on Identity
[03:22]  Four Key Points on Identity
[03:32]  Point 1: Expectations Shape Reality
[03:43]  Point 2: Identity Beyond Labels
[04:04]  Point 3: Beliefs are Not Facts
[04:37]  Point 4: Identity Work as a Gateway
[06:11]  Expanding Identity for Growth
[07:04]  Challenge: Questioning Beliefs
 
Stop letting old stories run your life. Ready to level up? Grab her free mini video training, “This Changes Everything,” at hilarysilver.com/subscribe. I
 
It's time to own your story. 💥

The Toxic Truth About Being Selfless

We’ve been told that putting others first is the hallmark of a good person, but what if that’s a big, fat lie? In this episode, Hilary Silver tackles the myth of selflessness head-on, revealing how this deeply ingrained belief isn’t just harmful—it’s downright toxic. Drawing on her decades of experience as a psychotherapist and lifestyle mentor, Hilary introduces the third core concept of her self-centered model: "In your life, you come first and you go first."
 
Hilary explains how the pressure to be selfless erodes self-worth, breeds resentment, and creates hollow, transactional relationships. She challenges the narrative that sacrificing yourself for others is noble, exposing how it leads to emotional burnout and a lifetime of feeling undervalued. Instead, Hilary offers a liberating alternative: prioritize yourself unapologetically. Because when you treat yourself with the respect and care you deserve, you teach others to do the same.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why “selflessness” is a toxic myth keeping you stuck and resentful.
How putting yourself first is the most selfless thing you can do.
The real reason self-sacrifice leaves you exhausted and undervalued.
Healthy giving vs. soul-sucking selflessness—know the difference.
Why modeling self-respect is the ultimate relationship game-changer.
The mindset shift that puts you back in control of your life.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00]  Introduction
[00:53]  Meet Hillary Silver
[01:57]  The Myth of Selflessness
[02:28]  The Big Lie
[04:15]  Consequences of Selflessness
[05:57]  The Void and Compulsion to Give
[06:33]  Resentment and Transactional Relationships
[07:05]  Self-Serving Giving
[08:40]  Healthy Giving vs. Selflessness
[09:12] Core Concept #3: You Come First
[12:54] Conclusion
 
Stop putting yourself last—it’s time to take the lead. 💅 Grab Hilary’s free mini video training, "This Changes Everything" and start making yourself the priority you’ve always deserved to be: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/

Believing This Lie Leads To A Life Of Regret

Ever been told, “The world doesn’t revolve around you”? Yeah, same. Hillary is here to call BS on that tired cliché. In this episode, she’s rewriting the narrative and proving why your world absolutely should and DOES revolve around you
 
For too long, we’ve been guilted into thinking that putting ourselves first is wrong, especially women. Hillary is showing you why being the sun in your own universe is the only way to thrive. When you focus on your energy, your mindset, and your desires, every part of your life—relationships, career, health—levels up.
 
If you’re sick of playing small, living on autopilot, or settling for whatever life throws your way, this is your permission slip to flip the script. Hillary’s breaking down how to stop people-pleasing, start thinking about yourself (a lot), and live a life that’s unapologetically yours.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why “the world doesn’t revolve around you” is the real selfish statement.
How to reclaim your title as the star of your personal universe.
Why self-reflection is the ultimate power move.
Living on autopilot? Here’s why it’s killing your vibe.
The ripple effect: How leveling up one part of your life elevates everything.
Hillary’s personal mic-drop moment that changed her life.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Introduction
[01:57] Core Concept: Your World Revolves Around You
[02:29] The Impact of Your Energy on Your Life Areas
[04:37] Spend More Time Thinking About Yourself
[05:30] Knowing Yourself to Make Aligned Choices
[07:06]  Elevating One Area Elevates All Areas
[08:08] The Power of Self-Realization
[08:29] The Ripple Effect of Personal Growth
[09:22] Conclusion
 
Ready to Make Yourself the Priority? 
 
💡 Get Started Today and Head to hilarysilver.com/guides for free resources, including Hillary’s mini video training This Changes Everything and her 90-day Daily Journal—designed to help you own your life unapologetically. 
 
Your world, your rules. Now, go claim your crown. 👑

25 Years of Therapy Advice in 12 Minutes

If you’ve ever wished you could cut through the noise of self-help fluff and get straight to the good stuff, buckle up. Hilary is about to deliver 25 years’ worth of raw, unfiltered, no-BS therapy advice—distilled into just 12 minutes. Best believe she’s not here to hand you more surface-level band-aids for your problems.
 
Hilary’s seen it all. After tens of thousands of hours spent in one-on-one sessions with clients, she’s got the receipts on what works and what doesn’t. In this episode, she calls out the big lie of self-help: most advice out there is just symptom management. Meditate your anxiety away? Sure, that’s cute—for a minute. But unless you tackle the root cause, it’s like playing whack-a-mole with your problems.
 
The truth is, you are both the problem and the solution. And while that truth might sting, it’s also your golden ticket to real change. Hilary’s “self-centered” model shows you how to stop blaming the world and start owning your life. She’ll guide you through identifying the limiting beliefs and patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free once and for all.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why most advice is just symptom management and how it keeps you stuck.
The real problem: Hint—it’s you (and that’s great news).
Hilary’s “self-centered” model and why it changes everything.
How to spot and break free from limiting beliefs and recurring patterns that keep you stuck.
Why taking ownership of your life is the ultimate game-changer.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Welcome and Introduction
[02:30] The Five Self-Centered Core Concepts
[03:01] The Real Problem vs. Temporary Solutions
[03:56] Root Cause and Recurring Patterns
[04:27] YOU Are the Problem
[05:20] Self-betrayal and Trusting Yourself
[07:17] Stop Blaming Others!
[07:28] Ownership, Responsibility, and Mindset Shift
[08:10] Ultimate Power
[09:35] Empowerment, Liberation, and the Magic Pill
 
Ready to Transform Your Life?
Don’t just listen—take action. Watch this episode to start making powerful changes today. And if you’re ready to go deeper, sign up for Hilary’s free video training, This Changes Everything: http://hilarysilver.com/guides. 
 
Your best life starts here. Don’t wait.

How I Quit Being Self Disciplined & Got Super Fit

Think self-discipline is the key to success? Think again. Drawing from her own transformation, Hilary explains why self-discipline is the anti-hero of personal growth—restrictive, harsh, and downright unsustainable.
Instead of relying on rigid rules and unrealistic expectations, Hillary introduces the concept of self-devotion—a compassionate, loving, and sustainable approach to achieving your goals. Think of self-devotion as the unwavering commitment you’d expect from a devoted partner but turned inward. When you show up for yourself out of love, not obligation, everything shifts.
Whether you’re looking to crush your resolutions, build a thriving business, or create a healthier lifestyle and body, Hillary’s approach to self-devotion is the game-changer you’ve been waiting for.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why self-discipline is more harmful than helpful.
The life-changing shift from self-discipline to self-devotion.
How self-devotion turns goals into meaningful, joyful experiences.
Practical examples of embracing self-devotion in everyday life.
Real talk on why loving yourself is the most effective strategy you’ll ever use.
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] The Myth of Self-Discipline
[01:40] The Downside of Self-Discipline
[02:12] The Cycle of Self-Criticism
[03:38] The High Cost of Self-Discipline
[04:09] The Dysfunctional Relationship with Ourselves
[05:03] The Most Important Relationship: With Yourself
[05:44] The Shift from Self-Discipline to Self-Devotion
[06:15]  What is Self-Devotion?
[06:47] Applying Devotion to Yourself
[07:39] Discipline vs. Devotion
[08:54] The Logic of Self-Importance
[09:25] The Ease of Following Through with Devotion
[09:47] New Year, New Me: A Devoted Approach
 
Take Action!
 
Break up with self-discipline and step into the new year with a mindset that truly supports your growth and happiness. Love yourself enough to follow through—not because you have to, but because you want to.
 
👉 Ready for more? Hit play now and start transforming the way you achieve your goals!

Make Your Deepest Desires Your Reality: I’ll Show You How!

In this final episode of 2024, Hilary sets the stage for your most transformative year yet. January 1st isn’t just another day—it’s game day, and you’re stepping into it armed with the mindset and tools to crush your goals. Hilary breaks down her self-centered approach to success, showing how internal growth unlocks the external life you’ve always dreamed of.
 
Episode Highlights:
Ready to ditch the doubt? Hilary’s hourglass method shows you how to turn internal growth into external wins
Stop wishing, start desiring—why tapping into a bigger, more powerful vibration changes everything
Learn how self-inquiry can help you overcome limiting beliefs and expand your identity
Think your brain’s stuck in its ways? Nope. Hilary breaks down neuroplasticity like a boss
Join the Daily Journal Challenge and start manifesting your biggest dreams—because 2025 isn’t waiting for anyone!
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Introduction
[00:52] Meet Hillary Silver
[01:35] The Self-Centered Approach
[01:56] Visual Representation: The Hourglass
[02:28] Understanding Your Deepest Desires and Internal Focus
[04:06] Growth-Oriented Questions To Ask Yourself
[04:49] How Inner Beliefs Create External Results
[06:02] The Bitter and Magic Pill
[06:44] Your Past Does Not Define You
[09:01] Changing Your Mind and Neuroplasticity
[10:09] The Daily Journal Challenge
 
What could change in your life in just 7 days? Spoiler Alert: Everything! Start the year strong with Hilary’s 7 Days to Self-Centered: The Daily Journal Challenge and enter the new year with unstoppable momentum. Find it at hilarysilver.com/journal. Here’s to making 2025 your best year yet! 🎉

You Are Who You Think You Are

Who do you think you are? No, seriously. Because the truth is, you are exactly who you think you are. The way you see yourself? That’s the reality you’re living. Your thoughts shape everything—what you do, what you achieve, and what you believe is possible (or not)!
 
In this episode, Hilary explains how your self-perception and thought patterns are the biggest factors holding you back or propelling you forward. If you’re stuck in the same old patterns, here's the good news: you’re just running an outdated script—and you’ve got the power to rewrite it.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why your thoughts about yourself determine what you allow yourself to achieve
The “narrative identity” trap: how the stories you tell yourself keep you small
Breaking free from predictability: why comfort is the enemy of growth
How to become a master observer of your thoughts and rewrite your internal script
The simple mindset shifts that unlock your infinite potential
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Who Do You Think You Are? 
[02:14] How Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality 
[03:06] How to Master Your Mindset
[05:01] Break the Self-Fulfilling Loop!
[07:19] Your Thoughts Are a Choice
[09:49] Go Beyond Your Current Identity 
[11:02] Unlock Your Full Potential 
[12:26] Amanda's Transformation: A Testimonial 
[14:44] Train your brain
[15:15] Challenge Yourself: The 2025 Seven-Day Daily Journal Challenge 
 
Ready to stop living life on autopilot and finally realize your full potential? Let’s go!
 
2025 will wait for no one.
 
If you’re geared up to embrace your best self, you can’t afford to miss out on Hilary’s transformative free video training, “This Changes Everything.” Or get started with The Daily Journal—a 90-day mindset reset with videos and guided visualizations to help you think bigger, dream bolder, and actually make it happen. Grab yours (plus more free tools!) at hilarysilver.com/guides.

Why NOW Is Always the Perfect Time

How many times have you said, “I’ll start after the holidays,” or “I’ll get to it when things slow down?” Waiting for the “perfect time” is just a sneaky way of staying stuck… and Hilary is here to call you out on it! 
 
In this episode, Hilary tackles the excuses we tell ourselves and shows us how to stop sitting on the sidelines of life. With her signature no-BS style, she’s serving up the truth about why now is always the right time to go after what you want, and how investing in yourself is the best gift you’ll ever give.
 
Episode Highlights:
Why the “perfect time” is just a myth, and how it’s costing you more than you think. 
How to ditch the half-hearted resolutions and actually get what you want. 
Four simple (but powerful) questions to help you figure out what’s next for you.
Why investing in yourself pays off now and for years to come. 
Get inspired to invest in your growth and become the version of yourself who gets what they want.  
 
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Stop procrastinating. (Seriously!)
[02:10] The cost of sitting on the sidelines and how to get in the game.
[05:10] What’s really holding you back? (Hint: It’s not your schedule.)
[07:05] Breaking the cycle of half-assed goals and wasted time.
[09:00] Why investing in YOU is the smartest move you’ll ever make.
[12:20] Big dreams? Let’s make them happen.
[13:34] Becoming the person who gets things done.
 
Listen now and let Hilary push you off the bench and into the game. Your future self is waiting. Go get it.
 
P.S. If you’re ready to take yourself to the next level, don’t miss Hilary’s free video training, This Changes Everything, or The Daily Journal—a 90-day guided mindset reset with videos and visualizations. Grab them (and free resources!) at hilarysilver.com/guides