The Hilary Silver Podcast

Take Back Your Power & Stop Caring What Others Think

Episode #15: Take Back Your Power & Stop Caring What Others Think
Introduction
In this episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast, Hilary addresses a common struggle many of us face: the concern about others' opinions. If you've ever felt burdened by worrying about what others think of you and wish you could just stop caring, this episode is for you! Hilary offers a thoughtful exploration of why this concern is not only unnecessary but also harmful, and provides actionable advice on how to liberate yourself from this mental trap.
Episode Highlights
Understanding the psychology behind caring too much about others' opinions.
The damaging effects of basing your self-worth on external validation.
Practical strategies for gaining freedom from the need for approval.
Hilary’s personal insights on maintaining authenticity in a world that pressures conformity.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01 - 00:02:00] Introduction to the topic and its relevance.
[00:02:00 - 00:10:00] Deep dive into the psychology of why we care about others' opinions and the negative impacts of this concern.
[00:10:00 - 00:20:00] Hilary shares powerful, real talk truths and strategies for overcoming the need for external validation, promoting a journey towards self-acceptance and genuine self-worth.
[00:20:00 - 00:30:00] Concluding thoughts and call to action for listeners to start applying these insights in their daily lives.
Listener Takeaways
Awareness is Key: Recognize when and where you are most affected by others' opinions and start to question why.
Authenticity Over Approval: Embrace your true self and let go of the need for external validation.
Mind Your Own Business: Focus on your own thoughts and feelings rather than trying to control or predict others'.
Reject Rejection: Understand that not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly okay. Embrace those who appreciate the real you.
Live Freely: Apply the strategies discussed to actively stop caring about others' opinions and start enjoying a more authentic, anxiety-free life.
This episode encourages listeners to shift their focus from external approval to internal self-acceptance, fostering a healthier, happier life.

Gain TRUE Confidence With This One Simple Mantra

Episode 14: How to Be More Confident Than 99% of The Population
Introduction
In this episode, Hilary dives into what true confidence means and how you can achieve it to stand out among the rest. She challenges common misconceptions about confidence, discusses two distinct types of confidence, and shares a powerful seven-word mantra that can transform your approach to challenges in life.
Episode Highlights
Exploring two types of confidence: situational and true confidence.
Introduction of a seven-word mantra to boost true confidence.
Personal stories from Hilary's life illustrating her journey towards genuine self-assurance.
Episode Breakdown (with timestamps)
[00:00] Introduction to the myths of confidence.
[00:07] Distinguishing between situational confidence and true confidence.
[00:13] The power of the mantra: "I will be okay no matter what."
[00:48] How to apply this mantra in real-life situations.
[00:56] Listener Q&A segment: Addressing common questions and concerns about maintaining confidence.
Listener Takeaways
True confidence stems from an internal belief system, not just external achievements or validations.
The mantra "I will be okay no matter what" is crucial for developing resilience and a positive self-view.
Practicing this mindset can lead to significant improvements in how you face challenges and perceive opportunities.
By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clearer understanding of how to cultivate a mindset that not only fosters confidence but also prepares you to handle whatever life throws your way with grace and assurance.

How I Quit HIIT and Got Super Fit at 50!

Introduction
In Episode #13: How I Quit HIIT and Got Super Fit at 50! Hilary shares her personal journey of transforming her fitness routine as she approached her fifties. Offering a blend of personal anecdotes and practical advice, she discusses the importance of listening to one’s body and reshaping one's fitness philosophy to align with her overall SELF-CENTERED APPROACH of putting YOU first (and, yes, that means your relationship with food and your body, too).
Episode Highlights
Hilary’s transformation from high-intensity workouts to a more gentle, introspective approach to fitness.
Discussion on the psychological impact of exercise and the importance of mindset in maintaining fitness.
Practical advice on creating a fitness routine that aligns with personal needs and lifestyle changes as one ages.
Reflections on diet changes and how they complement the fitness routine.
Episode Breakdown
00:00:00 - Introduction: Hilary introduces the topic and shares her credentials and why she shifted her fitness strategy.
00:02:56 - First Truth: Listen to Yourself: Hilary explains how listening to her body instead of following rigorous exercise regimes led to better health and fitness outcomes.
00:09:45 - Second Truth: Break the Rules: A discussion on why it’s crucial to forge one's path in fitness, challenging conventional wisdom and typical fitness rules.
00:15:23 - Third Truth: Make it Enjoyable: Hilary emphasizes the importance of enjoying the process of exercising and making it a pleasant part of one's routine.
00:16:59 - Fourth Truth: Make Working Out a Habit: The importance of consistency in exercise, and why it should be as habitual as any other daily activity.
00:18:06 - Fifth Truth: Be With Yourself: Encourages a deep personal connection during workouts, focusing on self-awareness and inner dialogue.
Listener Takeaways
Personalization is Key: Tailor your fitness routine to suit your age, physical condition, and lifestyle rather than following popular trends.
Mindfulness in Exercise: Pay attention to how your body feels during and after workouts. Adjust your routines to enhance well-being rather than drain it.
Enjoy the Process: Find activities you enjoy to maintain consistency and motivation in your fitness journey.
Routine and Flexibility: While it’s important to make exercise a daily habit, flexibility in how you achieve this helps keep the routine sustainable and enjoyable.
Inner Dialogue: Tune into the conversations you have with yourself about your body and exercise. Positive self-talk can greatly enhance the effectiveness of your fitness regimen.

Been Ghosted? The Secret To Getting Closure

Episode #12: Been Ghosted? The Secret To Getting ClosureIntroduction:
If you've ever been ghosted or had a relationship end without an obvious explanation, this episode is for you.
In this week’s episode, Hilary dives into the often misunderstood concept of closure in relationships. She explores why seeking closure from others can be unfulfilling and emphasizes the empowerment found in self-given closure. This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with unresolved feelings from past relationships. Hilary encourages listeners to reclaim power over their emotional well-being by fostering self-awareness and internal closure, rather than depending on external validation.
 
Episode Highlights:
The illusion of closure from others and the power of self-closure.
Practical advice on handling feelings of rejection and inadequacy.
Real-life examples demonstrating the importance of internal resolution.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00-01:00 - Introduction to the topic of closure and its personal significance.
01:00-05:00 - Discussion on common reasons relationships end unexpectedly and the natural quest for closure.
05:00-10:00 - Analysis of why waiting for closure from others can be detrimental and the importance of taking control of your own emotional responses.
10:00-15:00 - How self-awareness and acceptance play critical roles in personal healing and closure.
15:00-16:08 - Conclusion with encouragement for listeners to reflect on their own experiences and find personal closure.
Listener Takeaways:
Closure is something you can give yourself; it does not need to be granted by someone else.
Understanding your role in past relationships can help you move forward more effectively.
Embracing your personal truths and experiences can lead to significant emotional empowerment and freedom.

Q&A with Hilary

Episode #11: Your Questions, Answered!Welcome to another bonus episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast: "Your Questions, Answered!" Today, Hilary takes on questions submitted by listeners, tackling a wide range of personal and emotional queries. This episode not only answers listener-specific questions but also touches on universal themes that resonate with anyone looking to improve their emotional and psychological wellbeing through their relationship with SELF.
 
Episode Highlights
Hilary addresses complex personal questions on topics ranging from anxiety and intuition to managing insecurities and personal growth.
Listener interaction through questions that resonate with broad audience experiences.
Practical advice delivered with Hilary's characteristic empathy and insight, providing actionable steps and new perspectives on common struggles.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01] Introduction: Hilary introduces the podcast and sets the stage for a session of listener-driven content.
[00:02:34] Community and Support: Discussion on the importance of community and shared experiences in personal growth and emotional health.
[00:14:34] Addressing Listener Questions: Hilary, along with her friend and creative director Jess, answers pre-selected questions from the audience, providing deep dives into each issue.
[00:47:25] Anxiety and Intuition: A nuanced exploration of how to distinguish between anxiety driven by intuition versus insecurity.
[01:10:18] Addressing Personal Challenges: Tips on managing personal struggles with ADD, slow processing, and self-image issues.
[01:34:45] Motivation and Self-Care: Advice on finding motivation for fitness and self-care, emphasizing the importance of self-priority.
Listener Takeaways
Empathy and Connection: Understand you're not alone in your struggles—common threads run through everyone's experiences.
Practical Strategies: Learn practical ways to manage anxiety, trust your intuition, and embrace your personal challenges.
Empowerment: Gain insights on how to empower yourself by prioritizing your needs and setting actionable goals.

How To Overcome Loneliness and Create Connection

Episode #10: The Other "L" Word No One Wants To Talk About
Introduction
In this thought-provoking episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast, Hilary takes on the epidemic of loneliness, which she calls "the other L word." Exploring the nuances between situational and existential loneliness, Hilary shares insights on how we contribute to our own feelings of isolation by not allowing true, authentic connections in our lives. She challenges listeners to reconsider how intimacy can be fostered not just with those close to us, but in everyday interactions with everyone.
 
Episode Highlights
Understanding Situational vs. Existential Loneliness: Hilary defines two types of loneliness and discusses their impacts.
The Role of Intimacy in Combating Loneliness: Insights into how genuine intimacy can combat feelings of loneliness.
Practical Steps to Overcome Loneliness: Hilary provides actionable advice on creating meaningful connections and overcoming barriers to intimacy.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:36-00:01:02] Introduction to the topic of loneliness, termed as "the other L word."
[00:01:42-00:02:19] Discussion on situational loneliness: circumstances where one may feel lonely due to changes in their social environment.
[00:03:04-00:04:02] Exploration of existential loneliness: feeling alone despite being in social settings or relationships.
[00:06:09-00:07:01] Real-life examples of how to solve existential loneliness through deeper connections.
[00:07:01-00:09:03] The challenges of making new friends as an adult and the deeper problem of existential loneliness.
[00:17:58-00:18:10] Closing thoughts: encouragement to face the internal fears that lead to loneliness.
Listener Takeaways
Recognize the Type of Loneliness: Identifying whether your loneliness is situational or existential can guide you in addressing it effectively.
Foster Intimacy Anywhere: Intimacy isn't just for close relationships; it can be cultivated in any interaction by being present and authentic.
Be Proactive in Connection: Taking active steps to engage in activities and communities that resonate with your interests can help alleviate situational loneliness.
Face Inner Barriers: Reflect on what holds you back from being open and honest in your interactions and challenge yourself to be more vulnerable.
Self-Reflection is Key: Often, the solution to loneliness starts with understanding and changing our own behaviors and attitudes towards relationships.
This episode is a powerful reminder that while loneliness is a common human experience, the power to change our circumstances always lies within our own actions and choices.

Recovering From Dishonesty In Your Relationships

Episode #9: Your Lover Lying To You Is Partly Your Fault
 
Introduction
In Episode #9 of The Hilary Silver Podcast, "Your Lover Lying To You Is Partly Your Fault," Hilary dives into the complexities of how our own actions and reactions can inadvertently invite dishonesty in our relationships. Building on the insights from the previous episode about trust and truth-telling, this episode shifts focus to self-reflection and understanding the role we play in fostering either truth or deceit from others.
 
Episode Highlights
Exploring the dynamic of how reactions to truth can deter honesty.
Practical tips on creating a safe environment that encourages open and honest communication.
Understanding the impact of one’s demeanor and reactions in conversations.
Insights into the internal and external consequences of inviting lies through our behaviors.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:00–00:05:00] Hilary introduces the topic by discussing how our emotional reactions to others' honesty can discourage them from being truthful with us. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in our responses to foster an environment conducive to honesty.
[00:05:01–00:10:00] The conversation shifts to how certain personality traits, such as strong emotional responses, can lead people to withhold the truth to avoid conflict or hurt feelings.
[00:10:01–00:15:00] Hilary provides strategies for encouraging truthful interactions, including "rolling out the red carpet for the truth," a metaphor for actively inviting honest feedback in personal and professional relationships.
[00:15:01–00:20:00] The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to reflect on their behaviors and make necessary adjustments to promote honesty in all relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Self-Reflection is Key: Understanding your own reactions and how they may affect others' willingness to be honest with you is crucial.
Foster Safe Environments: Actively work to create spaces where people feel safe to share their truths without fear of negative reactions.
Encourage Honesty: Implement strategies like inviting honest feedback and being open to it, regardless of its nature.
Personal Growth: Recognize and accept that fostering a truthful environment starts with you and requires ongoing effort and adaptability.
This episode encourages listeners to look inward and examine how their own behaviors might be contributing to a lack of honesty in their relationships and provides actionable advice on how to cultivate a more open and truthful interaction with others.

Start Being Honest With Yourself And Others

Episode #8: Speak Your Truth & Stop Betraying Yourself
 
Introduction
In this episode, Hilary dives into the intricate dynamics of trust within relationships, emphasizing the often overlooked ways we may inadvertently betray ourselves and others. She discusses the distinction between factual honesty and emotional truth, and how failing to express the latter can deteriorate trust and intimacy in relationships.
 
Episode Highlights
Understanding the foundational role of trust in relationships.
Identifying the subtle ways we break trust without realizing it.
The impact of not sharing our emotional truths.
Practical advice on how to be more honest and trustworthy in personal and professional relationships.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01] - Hilary opens the discussion on the importance of being honest in relationships.
[00:00:36] - Introduction to the topic of trust as the foundation of relationships.
[00:01:00] - Discussion on building and breaking trust.
[00:01:17] - Self-reflection on personal trustworthiness.
[00:01:47] - Encouragement to consider how trust applies in personal contexts.
[00:03:01] - Exploration of factual honesty vs. emotional truth.
[00:06:02] - How unshared truths sabotage relationships at work.
[00:10:31] - Real-life examples of how we lie to avoid discomfort or conflict.
[00:17:01] - A case study on a couple dealing with smoking and trust issues.
[00:20:55] - Closing remarks on the importance of honesty and how to improve communication in relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Recognize Trustworthy Actions: Be aware of the ways you might be breaking trust, even unintentionally, and take steps to become more trustworthy by aligning your words with your true feelings.
Value Emotional Honesty: Understand that sharing your emotional truth is just as important as factual truth for maintaining healthy relationships.
Communicate Clearly and Honestly: Encourage open and honest communication in your relationships to build deeper connections and trust.
Reflect on Personal Contributions: Regularly ask yourself how you are contributing to either the strength or weakness of your relationships through your level of honesty and integrity.
This episode encourages listeners to be more mindful of their interactions and the importance of honesty in fostering genuine connections and trust.

Stop Sacrificing Yourself For Others

Episode 7: Stop Sacrificing Yourself For Others
 
Introduction
Hello, listeners! Welcome back to this week's episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. In today's episode, titled "Why We Should All Quit Being Selfless (and how this benefits everyone)," we take on the notion of selflessness and its impact on our lives and those around us. We often hear that being selfless is virtuous, but could it be causing more harm than good? Let's explore how embracing a more self-centered approach can lead to healthier relationships and a happier, more authentic life.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding selflessness and its hidden costs.
The difference between being selfless and being centered in oneself.
Interviews and discussions with my Creative Director about real-life experiences and professional insights.
Practical advice on shifting from selflessness to being self-centered in a healthy way.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00] - Introduction to the topic and its importance.
[00:01:15] - Hilary shares personal stories and insights on selflessness.
[00:15:00] - Discussion with guest Jess about societal expectations and personal experiences.
[00:30:00] - Practical tips on how to start prioritizing oneself.
[00:45:00] - Q&A session with listeners, addressing their struggles and questions.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Self-Centered is Not Wrong: Understanding that prioritizing yourself is not selfish but essential for your well-being and the well-being of others around you.
Reevaluate Personal Values: Encourages listeners to reconsider what they've been taught about selflessness and to understand the positive impacts of being more self-centered.
Practical Steps to Change: Offers actionable advice on how to shift from a selfless to a self-centered mindset without guilt.
Empowerment Through Self-Prioritization: Highlights how taking care of yourSELF without resorting to negative coping mechanisms or internalization (which leads to dis-ease) leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
 
Resources
YOU Really Are The Center of The Universe

How To Stop Emotional Eating

Episode 6: How To Stop Emotional Eating
Introduction
Hello, Listeners! Welcome back to this week’s episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. Join me as I dive into the world of emotional eating, where I share both my personal journey and family history with food along with my professional insights. Today, we're exploring how our relationships with food are deeply intertwined with our emotions, shaped by everything from family dynamics to societal pressures. We'll uncover practical strategies for aligning your eating habits with my signature self-centered approach that emphasizes true self-love, steering clear of temporary fixes through food. Get ready to reclaim control and foster a genuine connection with yourSELF.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding the distinction between eating for fuel and emotional eating.
Insights into the misuse of food as a response to emotional needs.
Hilary's personal journey and professional experiences related to food and body image.
Practical advice on how to confront and change emotional eating behaviors.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] - Introduction to emotional eating.
[03:00] - Personal stories and the impact of family habits on eating behaviors.
[10:00] - The role of medications like Ozempic in managing weight and why they’re only temporary fixes.
[20:00] - Strategies for recognizing and altering emotional eating patterns.
[30:00] - The "five-minute meditation" tool for dealing with cravings.
[40:00] - Closing thoughts and takeaways on self-awareness and food.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Awareness is Key: Recognizing when you are eating to fill emotional voids rather than physical hunger is the first step to change.
Strategies for Change: Techniques such as the "five-minute meditation" can help pause and reconsider our choices before succumbing to cravings.
Empowerment Through Education: Understanding the psychological triggers that lead to emotional eating can empower us to make healthier decisions.
Embrace the Self-Centered Approach: Learn to navigate your emotional landscape without resorting to food, alcohol, or shopping as coping mechanisms. This episode underscores Hilary's signature message: caring for yourSELF is the cornerstone of wellness. By staying true to yourSELF and loving yourSELF, you can make choices that genuinely nourish both your body and soul, leading to lasting happiness and health.
 
Resources
The 5 Minute Pre-Meal Ritual
 
Disclaimer: The Hilary Silver PodcastThe views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker’s own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of anyone else. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. 
Reference to any specific product or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by the host. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.The content here should not be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical or psychiatric questions.Contact information: media@hilarysilver.com